Stop Kink Shaming and embrace Desire
Your turn off might be their turn on so leave them the f*ck alone
Kink shaming is the act of making someone feel ashamed or problematic for the sexual desires they have. To some, spanking or being tied up during the act of sex is a definite no but to others these might be the highlight of their week. That’s why the individuality of people’s sexual journeys is beautiful.
In the world of sex especially kinks, there’s always something new and exciting to explore. So dont judge it before you try it keep an open mind when it comes to these desires. Please remember that kinks are consensual between both people so if they are enthusiastic about their desires don’t be so quick to shame them.
How did kink shaming become normal?
The act of kink shaming comes from a deep rooted history of negative views towards pleasure from sex. Society has viewed sex as taboo for centuries but as we moved away from sex shaming, people started to kink shame and this became the new norm. Take female masturbation for example, for years even still now the conversation of women masterbating is seen as strange and dirty. A majority of these views come from men but also conservative people as a whole.
Why is kink shaming doing damage?
Shaming people for their desires isn’t just one negative moment for them. People carry this weight of shame for years believing what they find enjoyable as not normal or dirty. It causes emotional and psychological stress because people feel isolated from their communities and they can’t enjoy their kinks without feeling crushing shame. Could you imagine the stress that comes with not being able to orgasm because what you believe is enjoyable others believe is weird? Kinks are supposed to be freeing and beautiful. Who are we to take away from a person’s pleasure?
How can you avoid kink shaming someone?
Learning how to not kink shame is like learning how to masterbate for the first time again. You have to educate yourself on the topic and it will take trial and error. However you learn and you realise that the comments you might have made to someone about their desires intentional or not these comments do affect someone. Remember you are human though, no one is 100% perfect so if you do feel like saying something about someone’s kink keep it to yourself because at the end of the day your turn off might be their turn on so leave them the f*ck alone.
Written by Rhianna Sweeney Clark Photos from Unsplashed and Pixel bay
Could you imagine the stress that comes with not being able to orgasm because what you believe is enjoyable others believe is weird?
